Mortality

At some point in their lives everyone will be faced with the prospect of their own mortality. Whether it be the death or illness of someone else, or a possible life experience of their own.

To an already hypercondriac person the word "biopsy" is never a good one. And to be honest, I doubt it is for anyone!

The words "to rule out anything sinister" also do not instill confidence in someone who already thinks the worst.

Although I usually lean towards anxiety anyway this time I have decided there really isnt much point! As if there is anything "sinister" its already there! Worrying and panic will not change it. Sadly! If either of these things did help I'd have cured the world of conditions by now!

But it does have you questioning your life. Is it all you thought it would be, do you really live everyday like its your last?! Have you done anything you had always dreamed you would do should god forbid the absolute worst happen. (you will get used to my drama queen ways of thinking!)

Who can live every day like its their last? Honestly? If you thought today was going to be the last day of your life ever would you have gone to work? Of course not! But can you live that way?? No! We'd never go to work for fear today was the end! ha! And wouldnt have any money to live never mind do the things we wanted to do before the end appears!

It makes you question what you would do if you were in fact really unwell. Would you suddenly start cramming in lots of plans of travels? or see family and friends more? Jump out of planes? Would you go to church more because you really havent dragged yourself out of bed many times recently on a Sunday figuring god knows where you are and that you're thinking of him while you stay in your nice warm duvet! Should you start showing up now in case you are soon to join him?

Does afterlife even exist?! Is there any concrete proof that scientists havent argued their way out of?

It seriously starts your mind buzzing around with a lot of crazy stuff! But maybe some of it we should think about more often than if we get a shock to the system!x

Internet dating

So we're told this is how its done now and everyone meets on line EVERYONE! And some of us even know people or friends of friends who met online and are now married, engaged, and blissfully happy.

I am dubious of this way of dating.

Firstly how do you pick a site? Do you pick the free sites? Does this mean you or they arent as serious about dating as those who pay? If you go to the paid sites will you meet any better class of Miss or Mr than the free sites? Do you go to ones only friends can write the profile for you? Do you go to ones who promise if you fill out ten pages of questions and tests to have your soulmate ready and waiting.

Sure, this is what the internet is for now! Why should single people be confined to other singles in their social circle/small towns/work/local bars and so on's. And its no different to the idea of blind dating? Except you know what the person will look like!

But personality wise? It is in fact blind dating!

Yes you can chat via email/txt and even on the telephone. But that still does not mean when you meet in person the person you have had this so far technological relationship with will turn out to be exactly as you pictured them.

How? Why? I dont know! You do your home work, you check out all the pictures possible (all those that have dared to be posted on line anyway which are usually the good shots....lets be honest!) and you've had numerous online conversations about your past, your present, your work, your friends, it's just so easy to open up online!

You've spoken on the phone, chatting merrily away to this person you are building foundations with. But then you meet and just one thing can throw it all off. A laugh? A mannerism? Or just plain not having any chemistry once you are there in front of each other.

It is baffling to know why. After you spent so much time building up a friendship at the very least! But I guess online is no substitute for the spark you get when your eyes meet across a crowded room, or a mutual friend introduces you to the most gorgeous human being you have ever had the fortune to come across.

Nothing beats that! Not even a very good online picture!

Theres also the fact of everyone online is looking for someone. Thats a given, thats what its for after all. And a very good device it is too for some! But I cant help but wonder. Do people really meet their soulmate online or is it forced?

Yes yes I know this is a very cynical way of looking at things and I sincerely apologise to those who really did meet their Mr or Miss Right online. Truely! As of course with everything such as love at first sight....its got to be true for some people!

But I cant help but wonder is it settling? Do people go out on numerous dates with numerous people until they find one they can just "be" with.

Perhaps after date 3,4 or 10 they really do meet the one! Or do they just meet someone who's laugh doesnt grate right through them and are attractive enough they can picture a goodnight kiss!

Everyone online is looking for "someone" and I'm positive many are looking for "the one" but in such a forced environment (everyone you go on a date with...as long as you adjusted your dirtbag filters accordingly!) is looking for the same thing you are. So if they choose you....are you the one? Or just the best out of the bunch they dated? Would you ever know?!