Single at Christmas

Merry Christmas one and all! I hope today has been a joyous day of family and loved one time and hopefully some yummy food and presents :)

This year was the first year I woke up alone. I have always stayed over at my families Christmas eve or lived with someone. It was strange!

Now normally I am thoroughly enjoying single life! I love the freedom, the independence and drama free lifestyle! But today it felt....kind of weird!

I felt as though it would actually be nice to wake up next to someone? nice to come home with someone Christmas eve and eat more food you dont really need! And watch Christmas TV.

I dont know. I've been single for three years now. (wow) And honestly have not done very well on the dating scene (some their fault, some mine.....but mostly theirs!);)

And I woke up thinking of someone from the past, and sent a Merry Christmas message. Its always been unfinished business, and honestly? I really dont know why I did it. But I got one back. It just didnt make me feel any better at all! And just makes me look and feel like I'll never let that one go! He's one of those people that you message then wish you hadnt even if he does reply because it will never be the reply you want!

I think there's one person in everyones past that has the ability to make them feel that way!

I've not really felt lonely very much until now. I've not ever worried about being single until now. But suddenly it feels like.....will it always be this way? Will I always be single now? Is this just how it is!

I have to be completely honest here and say I dont make much effort to meet men! I mean I go out with friends of course! But I want to see my friends! Not hook up with men. And the rest of the time I'm either working or sleeping after working so hard :) Which I also love by the way! Or visiting friends at their houses. I'm not big on the pub/club scene anymore.

So maybe you cant have it all? I have a job I love, a place I love, friends I love and that should be more than enough! I've been chasing a job I'll love for so long I shouldnt be feeling miserable about anything!!

Maybe its just Christmas time. And everyone is home with their boyfriends and families and I come home to an empty flat? But I have a lovely family I spent the day with and can now slob out giving myself mani pedi's and watch chick flicks eating chocolate! I guess there are some bonuses ;)x