Dating - the pull and push game!

And i'm not talking about some weird sexual game! I mean why do men do the pull you in then push you away game?! Its SO frustrating and so unnecessary!?

They either like us or they dont? Surely its that simple?! How can it be any more complicated than that?! Yet they make it more complicated!

Is it because they dont know if they like us really? (In which case dont use the pulling in tactics of how much you like us! Are thinking about us etc) or does someone else catch their eye? Or they want to keep their options open and thats why they push away suddenly?! Its random!

I bumped into a guy I used to date MANY years ago! When we were much younger. We've ran into each other a few times over the years but have always been in relationships. This time we were both single! So we swopped numbers and said we'd catch up. Before I'd even made it back to my desk he had txtd, and continued to txt the whole day. He txtd the next morning how he couldnt stop thinking about me etc etc blah blah you get the lines! But then went quiet leading up to our date. I just assumed he'd gone off the idea...or worse....probably hadnt been single after all! And right on time evening of the date he cancelled because of "work"

Not a problem, it was expected!

I didnt hear for a week or so then he reappeared again! Txt txt txt, keen keen keen. Just so bizarre!

We did eventually meet up, then met up four times afterwards. Always went well, had a giggle, no awkward silences, cheeky snog at the end etc and his txts inbetween got flirtier and cheekier. The vanished again! (yes getting boring now)

He does work a lot and does work shifts but as far as I know still has the same phone he uses when hes keen and txtn all the time from yes...the same job miraculously!

So I gave it up as a bad job! I dont play games! I dont have time for it! If a guy liked me he'd let me know? Or at least be consistent. So that was that.

Oh apart from some 3am txts asking if I was up a few times which needless to say were ignored!!

I then went on a girls night, he was in a bar nearby and heard we were out so turned up (crashed) with some of his friends and blatantly came over and asked me why i'd gone so cold and "not interested"

Is this boy serious??!!

I explained that as far as I was aware I hadnt changed, but when someone doesnt reply to my message or call I dont keep trying?! And he'd left it weeks APART from 3am txts which of COURSE would be ignored as I am not, nor ever have been a booty call! He looked sheepish at that and apologised for those saying he was drunk, and hey havent we all done that at 3am.


He had no excuse for his random vanishing acts. He tried a lot of them though! work.....(would be valid if he messaged on the four days a week he has off!!) ex's.......work again......the past.....he'd been ill....blah! No solid concrete reasons! but said he felt it had been going well and had really enjoyed where it was going so would like to start again. Seemed fair enough. (stupidly!)

And fair enough after I left he was messaging, and the following day and days after and a date was arranged for this weekend which he seemed, at the time, really keen about. But you guessed it! In the days leading up to the said date he's gone silent again!

So. Again. What is with the pull and push game! WHY come out to crash girls night to sort things out (apparently) just to vanish again at the last minute! Why be ridiculously over keen then vanish?! Is it a commitment phobia thing (i'm guessing yes) is it a juggling too many girls he cant keep up thing (possibly but its not like after 4 dates we're "exclusive" its ok if he wants to date other people!) or is it just he's a douche! (definitely!)

We have a history, there is absolutely NO reason why he cant be honest with me! And I told him at the club if he's decided we're better off "friends" that is totally fine!! Just because you like hanging out with a female doesnt mean you have to date them. We got back in touch, we caught up, it doesnt mean we have to date! We CAN just be friends! It's ok!

So needless to say if this date is cancelled I wont be arranging anymore! I dont think its too much to ask for consistency?! Maybe this is why I dont date often!x