I may have mentioned on beginning this blog that I have an issue with anxiety. This can sometimes vanish for years at a time and other times it is always at the forefront of my mind.
I don't know where my hypochondriac tendencies come from. And is NOT an attractive trait to have. It's one that sadly cannot be hidden, as a hypochondriac requires constant reassurance from those around them. It is a very needy and very annoying (To those around them doing the reassuring!) condition to have.
There has not been one day this last two weeks that I have felt well. Not one. And these have ranged from an actual condition I needed antibiotics for (OK...that one was fair)...to perceived side effects ...(from the antibiotics) to possible actual real side effects (But we'll never know as I am such a hypochondriac/drama queen), to concerns that the feelings were then not side effects but a symptom of something else...and so it goes on.
Fellow hypochondriac's (as long as they realise that's what they are...some are in denial) will be nodding their heads very enthusiastically about now, those who are the strong "never ill" types will be rolling their eyes in disbelief that someone can worry over such trivial and pointless things.
I have to agree with the eye rollers!
In my line of work I deal with many health issues. (Others thankfully, not mine!) that range from hypochondriac's such as myself who are off with any small thing...toothache (that's fair, that can be horrific!) to being overtired, stress at work (welcome to my world) or headache/cold etc. Although not many people complain at colleagues staying home with colds as they are so contagious and awful when you catch one!
But I also have to deal with people with genuine illness or conditions. Such as to name a few...diabetes, although not an illness as such but a condition that requires constant monitoring and requires the individual to be vigilant in how they take care of themselves and can greatly affect their day to day life. Chrons disease, another debilitating condition, and then onto cancer and the real life threatening awful illnesses and conditions.
And here is the really funny thing. The people with the life threatening or life altering conditions I never hear a peep from. Not one. They never complain, they battle through immense treatments and appointments, exhaustion and whatever the day throws at them with such strength I can never imagine having within myself. I really cant. And I am in constant AWE of these people. Who battle to not only beat their disease (where cancer is concerned) and to stay alive in some cases, but still come to work! Still live their life! Still carry on as normal.
They put me to absolute shame. They really do and rightly so. And it does stop me in my tracks to think of all the years I have panicked and worried over the smallest ache, pain or gripe and what it could be or what it means and how these amazing people are staring these illnesses in the face and saying screw you!
Sadly it does not stop my hypochondriac tendencies completely. And that's my issue I need to deal with and learn how to let this go and stop wasting life worrying about "what if's" or maybe its just who I am and I wont ever change. Who knows. But I know, seeing these particular people I should know better.xxx
The worst thing you can do is worry about being a hyperchrondiac. Don't compare yourself to others, we are all made differently and deal with thigs differently otherwise the world would be a really boring place! I have had two people close to me that have fought cancer (sadly my dad lost his fight). They both dealt with it in amazing way, it just think that when you have cancer that you do you utmost to maintain a normal life (like going to work) just to fight back against cancer. Don't compare yourself, honestly it justs make you more worried when there is no need to.
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