There's being single and FEELING single!

Sadly there is a difference between being single and feeling single!

Most of the time I LOVE being single I have to say, its great! I can do what I want, when I want with no one to "check with" and no one to have planned things for me without asking!

I can sit in watching dvds whilst painting my toenails, or waxing (sorry!!) tanning, hair treatmenting or whatever preening ritual I feel like! (It takes time boys!!)

Or I can walk my dog, visit girlfriends, go last minute shopping or just slob around in pyjamas! Doesnt sound exciting! But when you've been with someone for years you learn to appreciate "me time"

The only thing that can spoil singleness...is being made to feel single!! And sadly the people that make you feel this way are usually your friends.

I dont think they mean it! They're so caught up in coupledom its all that matters. That is now their universe and anything outside of it....well doesnt count as much anymore. (Sadly)

Now not everyone is like this, I was never like this with the previous boy but have been like it when I was younger (and learned not to be!)

But I can see why some of my friends are like it. Mainly because I think the guys they are with now? Are the ones they'll marry. So I get that.

Some....is because they're so desperate to keep a man they'll run around doing anything to ensure that happens (which it doesnt always!)

But the bit I hate...apart from women in general losing their identity in anyway for a man (easy to say when you're single and looking in from the outside! ha!) is the fact that their friends are somehow downgraded!

So I had plans with a girlfriend, but she cancelled. To do couple stuff! And this happens more and more! I am no longer a priority, but a backup plan. Being a single in a group of attached friends means I am the most available, (sad but true) so therefore can be cancelled on! As I will be available any old time!

Now this isnt true! I do have other friends who I see, and who hopefully dont always cancel! But I am increasingly finding myself alone at weekends because all my friends are attached and doing couple things! Wedding receptions, christening receptions, the boyf's families weddings/christenings/birthdays/engagements etc!

When you get a boyfriend, you take on his social life too sometimes once you know the family and his friends (and they hopefully like you!!)

But how long do you leave it before seeing the friend you used to see every week?

Months now it seems.

And sadly I am that friend!

I am so happy for my friends who are happy. They have been out with many a crazy/selfish/idiot in the past! So for them to have nice guys now who make them happy is great!

But it leaves me kind of nowhere when they keep cancelling as the boyfriend has a better offer!

Make new friends? Single ones? Well my friends are all from growing up together, I have known them so long! And they're all fab! I dont want to replace them! But maybe I do need a wider circle? Which in a small town is difficult!

So for now! I remain home alone at weekends with my dvd collection and pots of nail varnish!x