We have kept in touch every year. Our birthdays are a week apart so we always meet up. We then usually annoy each other soon after and lose touch again for a substantial amount of time!
Last year was different. Not really sure how or why.
I have got to where I wanted to be in my career, and realised when we were together he was always last priority. Always. I put my friends and career before him. Some say that's the right thing to do, I'm still not sure to this day whether I could completely put someone before career but that's another story!
I realised in our time apart that suddenly my invites we're dwindling. Fine with me as I'm no longer a party animal like the old days and enjoy film nights in! But it made me question how I never had a spare weekend for him when we were together?
Back when we were a couple if he'd asked me to make plans I would tell him if my friends weren't around then yes! Poor guy never said a word!
I was so fearful of giving up my friends for a man that I put them first always. And yes it is very important to keep hold of your girlfriends when in a relationship but not at the cost of your relationship. How had I been so blind to how I treated him?!
As the single years went on I realised my friends put their men (or men they barely knew!) first. Always. And I didn't think any less of them for that. Maybe frustrated if plans were cancelled but I never felt they were in the wrong, so why did I think they would feel that way about me?
Another issue was my friends not liking him. But then I realised in 3 years..... I don't particularly like some of their choices in men! It doesn't make us less friends! Doesn't mean I don't see them and doesn't mean I'm right! I think I thought if people didn't like him that they were right and that meant I was blinded by love! So what if I was?!
You will see from my blog I went on one or two dates during my time as a singleton but no one got to me how he does and I always felt guilty somehow despite the amount of time we were apart.
I sent a txt asking him to meet for our birthdays like we always had and it went unanswered. I figured perhaps he didn't want to keep in touch anymore and me realising all of the above was too late. One day driving down the motorway I had a flash of him happy with someone else and had a panic attack and had to pull over.
I texted again a week later to say I understood if he didn't want to respond but if he ever wanted to get in touch then do. He replied straight away. His phone had been broken and he hadn't got the first message. If I'd not texted a second time I would have assumed he didn't want to get in touch and he would have assumed I'd never messages again! Sometimes fate is a funny thing!
So we met and have pretty much been inseparable since
Some sceptics felt this was due to me not meeting anyone and so I was settling! I guess even I had to question that myself?! Why was I so determined that he wasn't for me and now all of a sudden he is?!
Maybe it's just growing up? Maybe it's just realising that it wasn't all him! I needed to look a myself and how he was treated back then!
Either way at this point in time I'm happy. That's all I care about.x
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