The Notebook! Have I had mine??

Ok, so like most of the female population I love love LOVE the film The Notebook. I'm sure I would love the book too had I read it...which I haven't! (my bad)

I even know a lot of males who love this movie! It's just an amazing story about an amazing love. If you haven't seen it DO SO IMMEDIATELY! Although maybe not as a first date DVD kind of film as men....I cant promise you wont get as emotional as the girl you chose to watch it with!

Everyone knows this kind of love (I hope) if they don't they dream of it. The kind of love where you just need to spend every single waking moment with each other! Morning, noon and night. But you challenge each other enough to argue and fight, but make up immediately (and passionately!) afterwards!

I have had this kind of relationship I am pleased but yet sad to say.

Pleased that I experienced it. It was a love that I never thought possible. I honestly never ever knew love could consume you in such a way. From the moment our eyes met I knew he was going to be something...I didn't know what, I just knew he was special. And I still remember and cherish that memory to this day. He was leaving a building as I was entering and our eyes met and I knew.

We were both in "relationships" and I use that term loosely as we were so young at the time! But they soon fell by the wayside as we got to know each other and eventually fell in love.

We couldn't be apart, although on a few occasions we had to be, and it was torture, even a week away from him was more than I could cope with. We would talk for hours on the phone, we would write letters, we would be in constant contact as much as humanly possible!

I had school, he didn't but would meet me on break times, if he couldn't I'd be so disappointed and my day would drag until after school when we could meet again. It was crazy!

We fought, of course we fought! Worse fights than I've ever had with anyone I've ever known! But we always made up.

I just couldn't be without him! He was my best friend, my boyfriend, my world, he was everything and I couldn't bear to be apart from him and he felt the same. We were both smitten and it was a lovely yet emotional roller coaster time!

It makes me happy that I had this with someone, that I shared this with someone that I actually managed to allow myself to feel this for someone and open myself up to it. The good, the bad and the ugly! The loving times, the jealous times! The hurtful times, the changing times and the challenging times. There were so many ups and downs so many tears and tantrums but ultimately we loved each other more than anything.

***SPOILER ALERT***We didn't part as dramatically as the notebook when she is forced away from him by her parents but it was no less painful I'm sure. We were together for six years rather than a summer! And we grew apart and had to eventually say goodbye. I still look back on it fondly despite any messiness at the end of two confused almost adults wanting to move on but being scared to. But I am pleased to say both of us have gone on to do many great things and he met a girl he will soon marry and we can look back and smile at the love we had back then, the two crazy kids crazy about each other! And it makes me happy I've had that in my lifetime, some will never ever experience that kind of love in their life and it is truly an amazing and special thing. You don't perhaps appreciate it as much as you should at the time? But later on its something you wished you'd took time to appreciate more as it happened.

What makes me sad about the situation is....apart from the fact some may never experience this is that I already did? Does this mean I had my notebook love?? And its gone. Not that I'd want it back! Unlike Ally and Noah our love wasn't eternal, just the fondness was! But the relationships I've had since which admittedly were only two were nothing like the intensity I had with him back in those days.

Perhaps its because I'm older? Perhaps its because I'm more wary of hurt, of the damage that can be inflicted on you from opening up to someone and giving yourself so completely or maybe its just they weren't the one?

I didn't have the overwhelming urge to be with them all the time, I didn't even feel the need to see them every day! Is this because as I've aged I am more independent? Have I lost that innocence that allows you to be consumed by the other person completely?

Its not that Id want to be in someones pocket 24/7 like when I was young! I do have a life ;) but i want the FEELING of wanting to be with them 24/7!

And yes the notebook is movie love! And you cant expect movie love to happen in real life! But it does! For some people it really really does. I've had it, I've been there and it was amazing. And I appreciate having had this experience but am just sad that perhaps I experienced it so young and may never have it again! Its not something you can force, its not something you can push for, when it happens its out of your control and its amazing. You cant help but give in to it. And I do hope I have that again one day! But I guess I should just be pleased I ever had it at all.