When you are single...or maybe not just when you are single! You wonder if this new year is the year you will fall in love. You cant help it!
The last two years have proved fruitless on that score! With minimum opportunities for dates! (Average of two a year! This is not good)
But my studies are finally over, which means more space for a social life.
Especially as I am house hunting also. As much as I cannot wait to live on my own (literally cant wait!) you cant help but wonder if it will be long before the house/flat of your own will eventually be shared.
Its not that I'm actively seeking to be honest. I'm not on dating websites, and don't go out on man hunts! But I feel...different. I feel like I am open to the idea now that there is someone out there for me.
I'm not sure what has brought this change on. Maybe time? Maybe a conversation with my ex over Christmas where I realised he has not moved far on since we split and I emotionally have. To me the chapter of "us" is closed. To him it isn't.
A friend of ours didn't help by saying she couldn't help but hope that one day he comes back to sweep me off my feet and we live happily ever after.
I too have this imaginary image of being swept off my feet and living happily ever after....but the man in the image ...it isn't my ex.
And maybe that's another thing that has forced me to think about falling in love again. To prove he isn't the one?! To prove I did do the right thing? To prove there isn't settling or just nothing?
I don't know. But whatever the difference is I like it! Its a less bitter and twisted version of myself who now feels ready for dating, and flirting and meeting people. We shall see how long that lasts of course ;) x
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