The ex files!!

I havent had that many boyfriends. Thankfully! The ones I've had drove me crazy enough!

But something I've learned over time with ex's are. There are different kinds?

There are the types of ex's who just vanish from your life forever. And that means even if they live in the same town or round the corner! You literally dont ever see them again! Like they vanish off the face of the earth!

There are the types who wont let it go. Ever! And continue to call, stalk, cry, and badger you and your friends until maybe its time to get a court order!

And then there's the kind you can be friends with.

Now this may not come across immediately! Sometimes it can take months or years to become friends with an ex. Its too soon? one of you wants to get back together? It makes it harder to move on etc etc. But for whatever reason and however long it takes (I do happen to think it cant be immediate, but some people carry it off) some ex's can stay in your life.

It's kind of comforting to know that all that love and time and closeness didnt vanish into thin air! And that a good solid honest friendship can come out of it.

Its also nice to see an ex do well. My first ever boyfriend has done amazingly well and thats so good to see. He was so young and all over the place when we were together, we both were, and for years after he just kind of bummed around and didnt have any focus. Now he's successful at what he does and is engaged to (I'm sure but havent met her so cant really say) a lovely girl who he's been with years. Its lovely to see.

My other ex's we have the odd chat on facebook randomly, and txts at birthdays and christmas etc. They too are doing well and its nice to see! There's no bad feeling for me anyway, and I guess not for them if they speak to me?!

But the most recent ex. Hmmmmm! It is a tough one!

We have remained friends more or less since the split. But only via txt and very very rarely phone and met up maybe 3 times in all? As I just dont think it's a good idea quite frankly!

He is an amazing friend. He really is, he would drop anything and can always be relied on and gives really good advice.

The problem is, is this fact stopping me meeting someone new?

Admittedly I'm not inundated with date offers! By any means! But I have been on dates (3 in total) with two guys in 15 months.

Is it because I have such a close relationship with my ex on a trust level that its hard for me to consider someone else? It just feels too weird? Almost like its cheating when its not! But maybe if we didnt speak I wouldnt feel that?

I mean he will be a hard act to follow. He isnt the greatest boyfriend sadly to which he will agree! He slobs out, he has no motivation and doesnt understand my career obsessed self.

Thats great! He just wants a stay at home wife who has no interest in aiming for the stars, travel etc. But thats not me. I need to break out of this town at some point! We were just going at different paces, I felt he was holding me back, he feels he's never good enough. etc!

But other than that, and some teething problems in the beginning we got on great! And laughed A LOT!

Ultimately I dont think I would end up with him and am not sure I ever thought I would. He was never going to be my happy ever after? Which sounds mean now but I just never thought he would be? But you have to think. In this amount of time. Why hasnt anyone else interested me? Why hasnt anyone else even raised my interest slightly? Even a crush would be nice!

Perhaps friends with an ex is no good until you really have moved on. Otherwise it just confuses the loyal girl brain!

It does not help when we split he started working out again. Why do men do that??